The first European Mixed Curling Championships were played in Andorra in October 2005 after a few hiccups with the ice preparation. While she was there, Lorna Rettig, the English reserve kept a diary of events. This is her record:

Monday morning starts with bad news for all the teams; Mark Callan and his ice crew have been working round the clock to get the ice ready but are still having problems, so there will be no practice ice today after all.The team is down for breakfast at the agreed time and everyone looks relaxed and fresh with the exception of pop-eyed Forbes, who was so worried about sharing a room with fussy old Alan that he didn’t dare get a wink of sleep in case he snored / tossed and turned / breathed too much. Alan for his part was pirouetting all night and making such a fuss that the dreadful thought of sharing with Chris begins to seem like a better idea.

The team philosophically decides this means all the more time for breakfast, followed by a leisurely craft morning, a tradition at all curling events. Alan, exasperated that the women can stretch breakfast out to about an hour, sits back with arms folded and flatly refuses to sew his own badges on and eventually his stubbornness pays off as Joan takes pity. It is lucky that she is in a generous mood because Chris fares little better, and after sewing his badge on the wrong sleeve, upside down, then on the wrong sleeve for a second time he gives up. Forbes is far more successful and gamely manages to get a whole badge the right way round onto his top, and blames Lorna when he discovers he has also, sadly, managed to stitch it on the wrong arm.

Craft morning successfully completed, the next task is a quick jaunt into town to get a pair of swimming shorts for Alan to wear to the party in the evening, and he is sent to the sports shop while the women order lunch. When he returns he seems very pleased with his new purchase, which Joan and Lorna diplomatically describe as ’sensible’, and which Claire dismisses with a disdainful ‘no surprises there then’, effectively ending the conversation.

The Opening Ceremony occurs without incident then it is on the Caldea, where the opening reception is to be held. Team England are first in and last out of the pool and spend a merry three hours going from Turkish bath to steam room to outside Jacuzzi to champagne then all the way round again. The rest of the party seem particularly impressed / horrified with the synchronised swimming routine but it is a relaxing night for everyone and the mood in the hotel is mellow when everyone returns. Chris makes a fuss about a Rioja then everyone goes to bed. Practice is tomorrow morning and the first game against Hungary in the evening.

The ice crew’s place in Heaven is assured; they have worked tirelessly to produce championship standard ice and practice can begin at 8am. Handily, however, Team England’s practice is at 9.15. Practice goes well and everyone is relieved to finally be on ice, as well as delighted with the improvement of the ice conditions.The first game against Hungary is not until 7.30 in the evening, so for a change the team head into town to go gadget shopping, bringing the daily average trips into town to buy gadgets to about three. The team has lunch in the same restaurant as yesterday and are all tickled that their host has seen the competition on the news. Confusion reigns when the menu, which yesterday was in English, is today only in Catalan. The afternoon is spent relaxing and preparing for the evening’s game.

Finally, the very first English mixed international game begins against Hungary who have been rapidly improving and are a potential banana skin. Hungary get off to a very tidy start, and team England are a little shaky. The score is 3-3 at the half way point, but Hungary look to have the upper hand in a fairly defensive game played mostly in the house. A change of tactics and more consistent play from the England team in the second half sees Hungary under more pressure with guards outside, and finally there is a breakthrough in the 7th end with a tidy 4 after a few Hungarian misses. The 8th end is a bit nerve-wracking (especially for Forbes and Lorna who are helplessly watching from the end) but the team does enough to force another mistake from Hungary and seal the win 9-4. A successful start. Forbes takes a photo of the first English win in mixed international competition for posterity, and the team celebrate with a little glass of Rioja that is, thankfully, to Chris’s taste before going to bed.

Alan has magnanimously declared that the women can stretch breakfast out for as long as they wish this morning, since the game against Andorra is at noon. They begin to wish they hadn’t since the discussion gets ever sillier and Forbes has no fewer than three Too Much Information episodes in one meal. Email corner in the hotel is annexed to team England for about an hour.
Today’s game is against Andorra, who have lost stalwart Ana to Spain. The game is not a classic and there are mistakes on both sides. At the half way point the score is 4-2 in England’s favour although they are playing better than their opposition. Patience and steady play bring reward in the end and the final score is a tidy if unremarkable 9-3. England’s bye is this evening and in the evening session Italy end up losing to Hungary, throwing the group wide open.
The afternoon is spent shopping for the girls and drinking beer and playing pool for the boys, and after coming perilously close to a multi-person faff the team finally manage to get out for dinner. Evening meal is an exciting jaunt into the next village and team England descend on an unsuspecting restaurant where the lovely host engages in a game of charades in order to try and translate the menu into English, at one point producing a leek to demonstrate her point when Claire’s school French is floundering. Chris’s quest for the perfect…nay, genuine Rioja is showing signs of improvement and rich food and wine are enjoyed by all. Robust banter gives way to everyone laughing at Alan having gout at the age of 35, and Forbes having yet another Too Much Information moment.
Team England - my goodness but they take up a lot of space.

Exciting news! After complaining that everyone is picking on him, Thursday is declared “Be Nice To Alan Day”. Chris is first to breakfast; Lorna has added ‘make sure Chris knows what time breakfast is’ to her list of duties which include getting the drinks, being the badge keeper and making sure Alan’s trousers are kept in check.Today is a busy day; a noon game against Wales and an evening game against Italy, and team England must win both games to be sure of qualifying for the quarter finals. Another leisurely breakfast is followed by the now familiar trip across the road to the ice hall to prepare for the game. After so many days sitting huddled on the bench discussing the games, Forbes and Lorna find they are slowly morphing into the Borg. England play solidly and consistently against Wales, and Wales are not helped by their lead having to retire after two ends because of pain when sweeping. England are always in control and win the game 7-5, and Wales are the first team to return the offer of a drink after the game.

Lorna makes a terrible mistake at lunch and thinks she has ordered a green salad but what actually turns up is the biggest plate of meat everyone has ever seen. Apart from this blunder lunch is very enjoyable and everyone is very grateful to the owner for staying open to accommodate the team. The afternoon is spent watching a film, doing puzzles and relaxing before the crunch game against Italy in the evening.

Italy will go out of the competition if they lose the evening game and come out fighting. Claire has a good game but everyone else struggles and Italy play extremely well. All of the team’s mistakes are punished and it is an uphill battle for the whole game. After seven ends with the score at 7-2, England concedes and there is the dreaded three-way tie. Italy mean business and cover the hole in the draw-shot decider with two of their stones. England does not and will play Hungary again tomorrow morning in the only tie-breaker of the competition (sorry ice crew / umpires).

Everyone is tired and goes to bed early, but the consolation parties happening downstairs / upstairs / all over the hotel mean a bit of a restless night for some.

“Be Nice To Alan Day” managed to last until the middle of lunch.

This morning is the tie-break game against Hungary and Alan reflects that if the team wins they get to play Scotland, if they lose they can finally have a beer, so it’s a win – win situation. The Hungarians are in the mood for revenge and are 4-2 up at the half way point. England are playing significantly better than yesterday however and fight back to 5-4 with two ends to play. It is all square going into the last end and England have the hammer, but Hungary play a good defensive end and England cannot prevent the steal and the win. Everyone is a bit disappointed to have come so close to a quarter final place, but to be within one stone of the last 8 teams in this inaugural competition is a good result.Thoughts turn to how to distract Chris from the Rioja for the rest of day until the Italian reception later that evening, followed by a Margarita party. The first distraction is a meal at the restaurant next door, where Chris has thoughtfully arranged with the owner to cook a haloumi cheese pizza for Lorna, who thoughtlessly misses this kindness by going for a nap. The next distraction is the quarter finals, where Scotland, Sweden and Finland make it to the final four. There is controversy in the Italy-Germany game; Antonio’s final shot in the 8th end which will win Italy the game is burned, although everyone watching knows the stone was on target. Germany goes on to win the extra end too, and it is rather a hollow victory. The gracious Italian team are cheered into the reception that evening, where their Federation have little trouble convincing the assembled party to come to Klout for the EMCC in 2006. After the formalities Chris and Joan start mixing Margaritas for everyone and the rest of the team go and play pool, where Alan and Lorna lose to Claire and Forbes in spite of Alan having a pool table all of his own on which to practice. The across-the-table draw which Claire discovers on her first shot doesn’t help. It is nice for team spirit to be finally able to go out and play together and everyone enjoys the party.

It’s finals day, and after finally being allowed out to party last night it takes all of the mens’ strength to make it to the stands for the second half of the semi finals in the morning, Claire and Lorna having been piously sitting watching since 9-30. Scotland are finding Sweden in sensational form and there is little they can do to counter perfect shot after perfect shot. They hang on but cannot get a breakthrough and Sweden run out winners. The final will be an all-Scandinavian affair as Finland patiently pile the pressure on to win against Germany.Forbes and Lorna are bursting for a game, so Lorna recruits Ana and Ellen from Spain and Claudia from Italy and Team Mama Mia challenge Forbes, Alan, Scott and Mark - The Dancing Queens - to a friendly 4 ends. The men, knowing what is at stake if they lose, are anything but friendly causing Ana to declare at one point “Be Nice To Alan Day” is finished!

The 3-4 playoff between Germany and Scotland is an edgy affair with singles being swapped for the first 6 ends. Germany get a breakthrough for two in the 7th end with a superb across-the-house hit, and Scotland can’t quite find the 2 shots they need in the 8th end to take them to an extra end so are disappointed to have finished out of the medals after a valiant effort all week.

The final between Finland and Sweden sees the return of the cross-dressing Swedes in their skirts. The first half is tight and defensive, and the game becomes more interesting in the second half with more stones in play. Sweden need the single in the 8th end to take the game to an extra end, a fitting conclusion for the first EMCC. The end is full of stones in play and it is unfortunate that the Swedes put their last stone through the house to give Finland the win without needing to play their last stone. A popular win for a popular team and the Finns are roundly congratulated at the closing ceremony.

The closing banquet is the usual refined and formal celebration, although Chris finally loses his patience with Lorna’s food situation and marches into the kitchen to cook Haloumi cheese for her after a week of green salads and plates of vegetables. The Scots are making up for not being able to party all week after inconveniently winning most of the time; Cathryn finds out she has a double set of photos from the dinner after not remembering she’d already been round once, and Greg fails to notice the dance floor has turned into a swamp and is getting a bit slippery for such robust dancing. Everyone politely says goodnight and goes to bed about 12. Not!

The usual pandemonium reigns as teams try to leave the morning after the closing banquet. Forbes is first to set the tone by getting up 50 minutes before his bus leaves at 7-30. Sadly for him, he has forgotten to change his alarm clock to European time and discovers to his dismay that he actually has minus 10 minutes before his bus leaves. Alan tries and fails not to laugh as Forbes has a personal multi-faff, but somehow manages to make it by taxi to town for his connection. The rest of the team minus Lorna who is driving are all packed and ready to go by 9-15 and somehow make it onto the bus.Team Spain are sitting giggling in the lobby at midday as poor Antonio has had to go to the police station to get his car back which was towed away. It’s a long walk to Madrid, lads!

Team Scotland are staying an extra night and how the Gilles family are still standing, after supporting through thick and thin since last Thursday, is anyone’s guess.

So! Team England, assume your positions! Alan - averaging 1.3 pizzas a day is not big or clever. Joan - she doesn’t bring coals to Newcastle, she takes water to the spa. Chris - Rioja! (as if you couldn’t guess). Claire - not really a haircut, more of a sneeze. HPL - will she ever get anything to eat? Forbes - ?!?! Where on earth to start?